By Lourdes Duarte
I recently read an article about why chivalry is dead, all from a male perspective. You think it would blame men for chivalry’s untimely passing, right? I mean, aren’t they the ones responsible for opening doors and pulling out chairs and adhering to the cheesy tropes associated with courting women? But something interesting happened in this article. Instead of blasting men for their shortcomings and deteriorating seduction techniques, it focused on how FEMALES are actually responsible for the death of chivalry. Some choice excerpts:
The real problem here is that women, for one reason or another, have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum.
If you take a girl out and show her you’re more than some douche looking to just get in her pants, odds are, you’re going to get a second date, at least. Call me old fashioned, but a nice dinner is worth the money to get to know someone to some extent.
If I take you out to a nice dinner, it’s because I’m a nice guy, and I am looking forward to spending time with you somewhere other than the bedroom.
We’ve become complacent? Don’t think so, boo. Because chivalry isn’t dead, it’s merely evolved. As an independent lady preaching the gospel of Beyoncé, I don’t need a man to pull my chair out for me. But you know what I do need? A ride home in the morning and a McGriddle. Oh, and R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Because chivalry starts and ends with that little thing that Aretha Franklin demanded on behalf of all us ladies. I don’t think respect is the bare minimum either, I think it’s the most effing important thing there is.
It’s also silly to assume that the “nice” guy taking you to the “nice” dinner isn’t a total douche bro who’s only trying to get it in. I mean, how is this guy more “chivalrous” than the one at the bar who makes no excuse for his true intentions? “Oh, you bought me a $17 meal at the Olive Garden. Well, there go my panties.” And is there nothing worse than a dude claiming to be a nice guy? GOOD LORD.
Plus, there’s no “right” way to court someone these days. No one-size fits all approach. Some women like to be wined, dined and romanced. Others have an unwavering need to vomit when a guy tries too hard. What one woman sees as chivalrous, the other will see as offensive or pathetic. And yes, we live in a society where hookup culture is prevalent. But aren’t women willing participants? No need to treat everyone with a vajay as if they’re some precious little flower. More often than not we’re totally clear on the decisions we’re making. And saying we’ve become complacent or somehow lowered our standards is mind-numbingly archaic (much like chivalry itself). Because at the end of the day, being a gentleman should fall on your shoulders. Not ours.